Marriage doesn’t mean giving up your individuality and self-esteem.

I want to focus on something very intricate and definitely controversial keeping in mind the mentality of our society here.
This message is for all those women who worship their husbands under the label of “husbands kai haqooq” and “biwi kai faraiz”, one major thing I want to clear here is that I am not refuting any rights of husbands but only stating that there should be a limit to them. I am not saying in any way that they shouldn’t be loved or pampered or cared for. God no! But my only plea is to please for Lord’s sake don’t make them your “Andata” in other words your god!

I have seen women who have literally laid themselves out for their husbands to be used as carpets they don’t even realise how they are destroying their integrity. They just blur the line between self-respect and self-depreciation.

I have seen many independent, self-made, headstrong girls turn into a mockery after marriage. They don’t sustain their individuality. They even lose their body shape and complexion, let alone their originality and distinctiveness. My question is very straight and simple “Does getting married to someone mean you will distort your being and personality to a such an extreme that you yourself don’t recognize your existence?”

Don’t contour yourself according to the guy’s wishes and demands or his house rules to an extreme!
Life is way better and much more than this. Getting married doesn’t give anyone your ownership, he is not your master and you are not his slave.

Being a submissive and serving wife doesn’t mean you always end up being in a situation where you are used and abused to an extent that you start suffocating and feel like ending your life.

You are not a tissue paper for Heaven’s sake. Wake up and realise that when you leave your parents’ house that does not mean you are being sold to the guy’s family.

“Learn to take a stand for yourself !”

Once you realise that the person you were married to is not the same person anymore and he has crossed all the limits and barged into your own little space, then he is a demon now.

Our women should identify that scavenger and stop him from tearing her apart instead of living with them silently and selling their souls and spirits just because that guy has been given the certificate to humiliate you, beat you up, abuse you and your family publicly and behind closed doors.

These are not sacrifices.

Being silent on domestic violence including mental torture and earning as the head of the family just because your husband is a drug addict I would consider that as suicide. It’s exactly like another form of rape where your relationship and feelings are groped, ripped, torn apart and molested with an iron rod which has a hook on it and when it sweeps inside a woman’s body her soul is sucked by that demon and that woman becomes a mere corpse “zinda laash” and of all those who are being constantly tortured and molested in the name of so-called desi marriages remember one thing that when there is no respect in a marriage ”Wahan pyar bhi aik din kam par jata hai.”
More power to you soulies ♥️

Amna Batool

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