A letter of an ammi who has a mesage for all the ammis in the world. Love every moment with your child, cherish every tantrum, listen to every laughter, capture all the moments in your phones and tabs and most importantly in your eyes and hearts. Having kids is a blessing which we take so normally. Lets celebrate motherhood by loving our kids even more.
Here’s a letter from Saadia Tariq, a mother of a special needs child and her experience.
Married at a young age of 22 with kids at 23, life could not have been more perfect! The additional honor of being a mom to a beautiful baby, life would just smile at my good fortune!
For girls of my age who turn into moms know the excitement of motherhood when they feel the cuddly warmth of their baby for the first time. The endless and tireless cycle of buying baby toys and feeding bottles to move your kid through the first stage in life where he can start speaking and call you “MOM” for the first time is just speechless!
For some mothers like me the wait is never over and I knew this from the time my son was almost 4 months old. My baby would not make an eye contact with anyone and no amount of distraction could get him to engage with people! I was worried and then reality started to be evident on me. My heart, like every mother’s heart took a leap then and I started hiding my son from the prying eyes of people and their unending questioning!
While he slept in his cot, people would see how beautiful the baby was and I would take some comfort in their praise but how long can a mother hide away from the cruel reality that her son is not normal. You can rattle and dangle all the toys in this world with fancy and flashy lights in front of your son but he would not stop crying! Spending all night trying to pacify your son but his pain and yours would not go away.
When alone at night you begin to see how lonely you are in this world with no shoulder to cry on. Just looking up to the sky and praying to the Almighty to show some mercy to my soul. Hoping for a new dawn the next day only to find yourself caught up in the clutches of the same dreadful routine! It’s not easy to be a mother to someone with special needs. My boy cannot say anything but I can feel his whole existence screaming out to my helpless soul for help.
When you sit down in front of 4 doctors hoping for an utterance of hope and some relief but then you fall back into disappointment. The dreadful reality that my son is destined to be this way ends your entire quest for hope!
I remember one frightful day when we all sat around the table talking over dinner. It was a family wedding and we had all got together for the preparation. I looked at Ibrahim my son and saw his eyeballs rolling up and his body starting to convulse with seizures. We rushed over to the hospital and spent all day getting MRIs and EEGs done. Imagine the trauma of a parent seeing a 2 year old go through such hellish experience.
I reach out to my soulies and those parents who are infinitely blessed with healthy and normal kids! This is the greatest and the most precious gift of God. Allah has given you an opportunity to relive your lives through your kids and take them through the paces of life like any normal person. Prize them; be proud of them as you don’t need to hide them away. Celebrate your motherhood as you have someone to call you Mom on mother’s day.
This is the life given to us by Allah and we submit to it with unquestionable obedience. Allah’s plans are best!